Letter to my 7 Year old self

Dear little me,

It’s been awhile since we have talked to each other…18 years to be exact. I have come a long way from where we both started together. Unfortunately, I had to abandon you in the middle of our journey because you were such a tough kid. You were a dreamer. You didn’t really know how this world works. You were told so many times to grow up and be a big boy. But like always, you never listen to anyone no matter what. All you wanted to do was play and have fun. You used to look at everything and feel so amazed. Nothing was small for you. On summer vacation, while going to sleep on the roof with Papa, you would bombard him with the questions of the sky and the stars and the galaxies and the universe and every damn thing that came to your mind. And Papa will give the answers to almost all those silly questions. Silly kid you were. Who on earth cares about sky these days? But you were a kid, so can’t blame you. Even a toy made of mud was very dear to you. Oh, what a poor baby you were… Remember the other day when you planted a mango sapling on the backyard of our home. How excited and happy you seemed everyday when you went to water it in the morning and feel its soft green leaves with your tiny little fingers. You cared for it like it was a very young child. I remember that day when you were passing by a poor neighborhood and looking at them you said to yourself that you will become very rich one day and build a big house for each one of them. Surely, nice thoughts. But things don’t work that way when you become a grown up. Being grown up is all about you, your life, your growth and your this and your that. You are not supposed to give a damn about anything that is not related to you or is yours.

So enough about you. Let’s talk about me and the reason why I left you alone while you were still a kid. At first, it might seem to be quite a terrible thing to do. But I had to, even though I didn’t want to. You know, whoever comes to this world,  after a certain age, has to work towards something everybody calls “Career”. You might not know about it but the world where I live in, it is a very big deal. In simple words, it’s something people do and in return they get money. So at the end, this thing called  “Career” leads to money. This is just as simple as that. That’s the whole purpose of it. It doesn’t matter by what means  you earn it, it’s always about how much you own it. If you have made a lot of money, you can buy almost everything such as respect, status, love and some really really expensive objects you can’t even imagine. These people are branded as “Successful”.  Everybody envies them, wants to be like them, follow them and know them. Else, if you end up having little money, well..your life isn’t going to be very rosy, is one of many ways of putting it. Such people with little money are called failures or losers. I know you also loved money and 2 rupees coin that mom gave you to buy some candies, gave you the joy that can’t be described in plain words. But that is very little money. Here, we are talking about lots and lots of money. And even after having  tons of this, people don’t really like to feel as happy as you were with that two rupees coin. To pursue this fancy as well as illusory success, people leave behind their families, health, peace and so many precious things that you, being a kid, always held so close. I know you might be feeling scared now and I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t have been able to survive even a single day here in this world. It requires unimaginable amount of courage and sacrifice. I hope, this answers why I left you behind. I cared for you and still do.

Now you might be wondering if my world is so big, so great, and all of that fancy crap, what made me write this letter to you. Let’s keep this between you and I. Honestly, deep inside my heart, I don’t like this world. In fact, I hate it. I hate it so much that sometimes I get weird thoughts of leaving this planet and shift to another one. I feel trapped. This way of living and this shallow concept of life drowns me deeper as each day passes. Whenever I am in dilemma, I remember you and think how would you have approached the problem and then I end up getting the best solution. I feel lost and it’s your thoughts that bring me back to life. I miss you every single day and every single night. I want you back. I want to be with you.  I promise that I will work towards the dreams that you dreamed. I will never ever separate you from me again. I want to be you again.  I hope it’s not too late………….

Always yours,

Big You

2 thoughts on “Letter to my 7 Year old self

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